Writing to express sympathy is something everyone must to do at times. Even if you find a card that says exactly what you’re feeling, you’ll still probably want to add some words of your own. But it isn’t easy. How do you express your sadness and provide comfort—while honoring the person who’s been lost—in just a few short words?

If you’re stuck on how to start, try remembering an enjoyable time you shared with the deceased. Consider the ways they added richness and beauty to the world and brightened the lives of the people who knew them. Include a meaningful story if it can be told quickly.

The most important rule is to trust yourself. Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing, saying too little or saying too much. Almost anything you say will be all right. Even if you’re not good with words, the fact that you made the effort will be appreciated.

Here are a few examples to help you get started:

“We are sending sympathy and prayers for comfort and guidance as you face the difficult days ahead. Your sister was such a positive person. She always had a happy outlook that was contagious to everyone around her.”

“We are so sorry to hear that your mother has passed. We hope that you can find strength and comfort in the love of your family. May it help you to know how many lives she brightened with her kindness. Such a wonderful person will never be forgotten.”

“May happy memories of your father comfort you now. You and your family are in my thoughts. I remember when he came and picked us up when our car ran out of gas in college. He made such a difference to so many people in so many ways.”

“I am so very sorry for your loss. But may her love live on in your memories and bring you peace.”