Sympathy Ideas

How to write a sympathy note

Writing to express sympathy. It's something we want to do, something we need to do. But it's not something most of us find easy to do. We want to comfort, we want to support; we want to express our sadness, but we also want to remember joy and share hope. We want to acknowledge a loss but also celebrate a life. How can we do it? Hallmark writer Rich Pauli offers these suggestions.

Start with a card
Well, of course, we're not entirely on our own here. There are plenty of wonderful sympathy cards available to choose from. These range from the elegant to the simple, from poetry to prose, from many words to few words. But no matter how many or how few the words, and even if a card expresses perfectly what you're feeling, you'll still probably want to go beyond a simple signature and add some words of your own.

Trust yourself
One reason expressing sympathy seems hard is that we often aren't sure exactly what to say or how to say it. We're afraid we might say the wrong thing. We're afraid we might say too little or too much. But the truth is, anything you say will be okay. Even if you're not that comfortable with words, the fact that you made the effort will be appreciated. So trust yourself and say what you feel. Your recipient will understand.

Some ideas to get you started...
Here are some thought-starter phrases you might consider:

• You and your family are in my thoughts [and prayers].
• Such a wonderful person will never be forgotten.
• I am so very sorry for your loss.
• I'll always remember the time that...
• My life is so much richer for having known...

Personal contact significantly helps the healing process. Your sincere expression of sympathy will help comfort your recipient. And this act of kindness may help you feel a little bit better, too.